Saturday, 1 December 2012

Today and tomorrow



v  I love what you say but I can’t believe you
Words don’t hold meaning anymore!

v  Today you like me the way I am
Tomorrow you try to change me!

v  Today you see an angel in me
Tomorrow you don’t find her in me!

v  Today you hold my hand and walk
Tomorrow you are conscious of the public!

v  Today you have all the time in the world for me
Tomorrow you get so busy that you don’t even want to see me!

v  So, if the words hold meaning only for today, so today I love them
Tomorrow I don’t believe in them!

Saturday, 10 November 2012

Imagination


·        When I miss you
Warmth of my tears comforts me!

·        When I miss your fragrance
Your stolen handkerchief, comforts me!

·        When I miss being with you
Knowing that you never felt my soul, comforts me!

·        When I miss you loving me,
Knowing that you ain’t love me anymore, comforts me!!!

No, never

The day I will forgive myself for trusting you, will be the day I'll forgive you

But my soul refuses to forgive me, so I refuse to forgive you!

Friday, 2 November 2012

guroor


Kaise Karen hum guroor apne aap pe
Jinhe apna guroor maan kar baithe
Unhe hi fursat na mili
Khud ke guroor se!!

Monday, 29 October 2012

Interest...


Since I have been dumping so much on this blog, this time thought of dumping about my own interests, before this I want to say that I created this blog so that when I will be nearing the exit from life, I will have a look at it and may remember the good-bad golden age and the fluctuations of my mind, each and every thing I wrote will remind me of each and every happy-sad-painful life. When I think like that, for the time being, I just forget the present pain and look ahead in life as I feel I might have much more happy-sad-painful experience which I will live to the fullest and learn (harsh learning as I say) a lot.


·         Sketching: I have been born in a family where sketching comes to people from birth. I never learned it, though I want to but can’t right now (time, finance are obviously nil). But I think my interest for sketching will never die. I am too amateur in it, no clue about techniques..etc etc. Waiting for the day when I will be pro with it.

·         Cooking: I never had interest in cooking, its only when my father threw me out of the house( in his own words: Live life on your own, be independent, I will help you in every possible way, but…but you are not staying with us) I developed interest towards it :). I guess I have to, again can’t afford and digest eating outside food everyday. I learned cooking from here and there. Asking my mom, aunts over the phone about various recipes, calling my friends at my place so that they can help me with this cooking stuff. So, all in all I learned it through lots and lots of discussions and by trial and error method. But now I like it:)

·         Travelling: Well I can’t say anything about people who do not believe in Sunshines but I do. I am typical Sagittarius. Sagittarians loves travelling, seeing places, roaming aimlessly, and am no exception to it. My dad being in transferable job, gave a lot of exposure to me and had visited various places in India. These days whatever little travelling I do I plan months in advance and then collect the required amount. Looking forward to a world tour but that may be possible only in old age with my retirement funds, i don't think my little collection will work here…:)

·         Blogging: No it’s not an interest. It’s a frustration register which I maintain without fail:)

·         Gossiping: Yeah, now that the favourite one, my staple food, can’t live without it…C’mon I don’t think I need to elaborate it.

·         Shopping: I love it, I just love it…but again it has to be limited, I think no guess here (am always kangal). It’s one of the best stress buster, each and every medicine fails here.

·         Outdoor games, trekking, bunjee jumping, etc….Yes, I love it…I love to watch..except snorkling I didn’t try anything…I can’t..I suffer from sickness, but before I exit from life, these things I will definitely try..no matter how many days I spend in hospital then.

·         Kids: I love them, they are innocent, I love the world they live in, revolving around chocolates, toys,mom, dad…ahh..their world is the most beautiful one. I just love their innocent imaginations.

I think these are the major ones…rest facebooking, e-mail chatting, browsing…blah blah blah holds little importance:)


Saturday, 27 October 2012

From negative to positive-Delhi trip


Till now whatever I wrote has been mostly negative, the reason being letting negativity of mine taking control over the positive side of me. I would not deny the fact that I have gone through lots of negativity in my life-be it professional or personal. It has taken its toll on me to an extent that 99% of me became thinking only negative. It has been destructive, very destructive. But, yes I believe destruction means the beginning of something new...so destruction isn't bad.

Recent visit to Delhi, has been both positive and negative. But the negative part made me realize that the positivity is much more in my life than I could ask for, the need is to let that positivity take control over me.
Delhi…its like a second home to me. I have two aunts (my father’s sisters) married and settled in Delhi. My bond with them is unique one. I was born when they were kids. The kind of bond I have developed with them is actually beyond expressing in words. They are both my “elder and younger sister”. They know things about me that even my parents or my own sister doesn’t know. I find it easy to share my feelings with them. They counsel me on every step of my life like an elder sister and sometimes they need counseling from me like younger sistersJ.
One of them lives in Palam and the other in Nazafgarh, so its obvious that I have to hop between these two places. Whenever I go, they try to give the maximum possible comfort to me and yes, till the time I will stay, the food that will be cooked in the house would be of my choice-no matter what I demand”. They are my true friends.
I have three young kids (cousins).The older one, Shubham,  is 14 years old. He is a strange creature. He won’t talk a thing to me but my presence makes him happy. He respects me a lot. As soon as he comes from school he starts looking for me everywhere. If he finds me on the roof, he will just give a smile and then gets glued to his computer games. Funny himJ
The two young kids, Ansh (3 years) and Ayush (6 years), they are the youngest and cutest kids in the entire family. The young one Ansh, when I was going to his place (Najafgarh), he asked me almost 10 times “Didi mele ghal chal le ho”- I smiled and took him in my arms. He was just so happy with the fact that I was going to his home-running and showing me the way to his homeJ. The 6 years old Ayush-everytime I go to his place, he wants me to leave immediately and wants me to come every morning so that he could get chocolates every day..lol.
Their innocence is God gift. They are truly a beautiful part of my life.
All of them make me realize that there is so much of positivity and love to look around, then why should I let negative feelings take control over me.

“With tears rolling down my eyes, I am letting go negativity in me forever”

Tuesday, 16 October 2012

I am God's favorite child as he always keeps me at the top of his harsh learners list.

Wednesday, 3 October 2012

..


I really loved you my love
I tried to tell you in the way I looked at you
 the way I hugged you
And  in the way I kissed you
But I couldn't tell you in words
 I use to go numb when I use to see you
My every heartbeat was telling it out loud to you
But you couldn't hear it
You left me in tears
With memories to bear
They remind me all the time
 how much I miss you, I love you.

Saturday, 15 September 2012

Na I don't.....


·         No no no
I don’t miss you
I walk alone on the road
Humming “I miss you”
But I don’t miss you!

·         I keep looking at my cell
Hoping it will flash your name again
But I think that’s a habit
I don’t miss you
No, not at all!

·         I hug my pillow tight
Just like I hugged you
But that doesn’t mean
I miss you!

·         I look at the wall unknowingly
I don’t even realize for how long
It’s just the way I use to look at you
I think that’s an addiction again
It absolutely does not mean
I miss you!

·         No no no
I don’t miss you
No,not at all!









Sunday, 9 September 2012

Karma





This is so true, I wanted to write exactly something like this. Life is really too short to hurt and deceive people, use it to spread smiles and not tears, after all we all are answerable for our deeds.A little help to the needy, a little promise you just manage to keep, and the much needed truth you are able to say can be so much helpful to any person in so many different ways.Don't cheat, just don't cheat with anyone...trust me the sadness "cheating" brings in a person's life is one of the most grave "sadness". It breaks trust and confidence of the person entirely. Just say the truth..that solve all the issues, its much much better option than cheating.Atleast you will be praised for saying the truth.
"You get what you give, whether its good or bad"...I firmly believe that its true...